Year: 2013

A fascinating year is about to end and an exciting new year is about to begin.

There are two things that you can do:

1. Make a powerful entry into 2014; or,

2. Float into 2014 and happen to show up in the New Year.

I am certain you would like to make a powerful entry into the New Year and make 2014 the best year you’ve had till now. If that’s what you are interested in, read on.

So that you can make an authoritative and a commanding entry in the New Year, it is important to do a review of the last year (2013) and take stock. I am going to recommend a set of questions that you ask yourself. I have broken these questions into 2 parts – one that reviews and completes 2013 and another set that helps you declare your goals for the next year.

It is important to know ‘What is so’ about your life at the end of 2013; and then ‘where do you want to be this time next year’ so that you can make an unassailable entry into 2014 and achieve the goals for the New Year. These questions will help you get a deeper understanding of where you are today and where you want to be this time next year.

I am suggesting this to you after having completed this exercise and I can state out of experience, once you have done so, you will be making a very powerful entry in to the New Year.

1.      What have I achieved in 2013?

While answering this question, what I did was to break up my life into important areas and identified what is it that I achieved in each of these important areas of my life, such as: my personal life; my work; my health & well-being; and, Gift Your Organ Foundation (NGO); Just writing down my achievements in each of these areas gave me a great sense of achievement and a lot of power to look at audacious and bold goals for the New Year! I suggest you identify the important areas of your life and list out your achievements in each of these areas.

2.      What did I learn new in this year?

I have a keen interest in reading and continuously developing myself and one of the ways I evaluate my growth is based on the new things that I learn. I can easily state that 2013 has been a year of a lot of lessons for me, a year of a lot of new knowledge that I gained and the most important recognition of how much I don’t know yet and still need to gain. The more I learn, the more I feel I don’t know enough and hence the more I want to learn.

3.      What is it that I want to acknowledge myself for in this New Year

We perpetually see the good in others and compare ourselves to others. No wonder then that most times we fall short. This is the time of the year to step back for a few moments and pat yourself on the back for all the good that you are and all the good that you have done. I made a detailed list of points that I wanted to acknowledge myself for. I acknowledged myself for the various achievements of the year in different areas of my life, to something as simple as acknowledging my new found patience in certain trying situations. I discovered a new me in this process of acknowledging myself. Try it, it is a lot of fun, I promise!

4.      What is it that I missed out on this year?

I missed out on a few of targets and certain self development goals. By simply distinguishing what I missed out in the last year, it has helped me re-evaluate these targets and goals and the ones that continue to hold its importance in my life have found a place in what I want to achieve in the New Year.

5.      What do I want to achieve in 2014?

There are two ways to approach any goal in your life – one is to first identify ‘what’ is your goal and then figure out the ‘how’. The other is to first look at the resources that you have, the effort that it will take, and then determine your goal. A lot of people first look at the ‘how’ and based on the `how’, they decide the ‘what’, i.e., their goal.

I am firm believer that you need to figure out the ‘what’ first and the ‘how’ will take care of itself. Think of all your dreams, make them specific, make them measurable, put a deadline on these dreams and go after them! If there is sincerity in your effort, the universe will conspire to achieve these goals.

Break down the important areas of your life and identify ‘where would you like to be this time next year’ in each of these areas. Like I did while reviewing 2013, I have identified where I want to be this time next year in my personal life, my work, health and the Gift Your Organ Foundation. I also included places I want to travel in 2014 and other fun things that I would like to do and people that I would like to meet.

6.      What new do I want to learn in the New Year?

I have also identified what new I want to learn in the New Year. There are some specific goals that I have for myself in this area and I am committed to achieving these goals of gaining new knowledge. There are some courses that I have identified and will commence in the New Year.

Feel free to add more questions if you would like. The more you question yourself, the more you will seek answers from yourself.

Once you have done this, one last but an extremely important thing that will be required is that you will need a structure of people around you with whom you will need to share these goals; people who will not allow you to be lackadaisical and will continuously remind you of each of your goals; people who will hold you accountable to take actions to achieve these goals.

I have created a solid structure of people around me that hold me to account. If you would like to create a similar structure, please feel free to contact me on coaching@sameerdua.com

I can guarantee you, once you have done this, you will not only make a powerful entry in 2014, you will conquer the year!

Make 2014 count in your life!

Good luck and have a blast!

Sameer Dua, Founder Director, Institute for Generative Leadership, India

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This is a question I keep asking myself, on a regular basis. How big can I be? Am I playing a game worthy of me? Am I growing? What can I bring forth in me so that I can create a bigger impact?

I am reminded of a quotation by Sam Keen stating “What shapes our lives are the questions we ask, refuse to ask, or never think to ask.”

Over the years that I have spent in business, I can say now with a fair degree of confidence that these and other similar questions are questions that have the potential of stopping you in the rush of your day to day life and get you to observe important aspects of your life which otherwise miss your attention.

So, let’s start – How Big can you be?

But before that, the question to be asked is how big am I being right now?

For you to answer this, we will need to understand what ‘big’ means. ‘Big’ has a different meaning for different people. Let me relate an interesting Akbar-Birbal story that I was reading for my daughter last week that I see is relevant to this conversation.

In the great Emperor Akbar’s court, it happened one day..

He came into the court. He used to have a blackboard in his court, just as you have blackboards in Universities, because he was himself a learned man and his court was full of learned people. He had collected from all over the country all the geniuses in different dimensions.

Drawing a line on the blackboard, he asked the wise men of his court: ‘Can anyone make this line small without touching it’

Now how can you make it small without touching it? You will have to touch it to make it small; you will have to erase some part of it. So, all the wise people were at a loss.

Finally, Akbar said to Birbal, who was the most intelligent person in his court: ‘The court seems to be silent. Have you some idea or have you also accepted failure?’

Birbal went to the blackboard and drew a bigger line above the line that Akbar had drawn. He made the line without touching it. Just with the bigger line, the whole context had changed. Now, in comparison to the bigger line, the first line had become small.

You decide the context of ‘Big’ that works for you. You know the life that you have lead and the games that you have played or are currently playing. The question is, like Birbal, do you want to draw a line bigger than the one already drawn up by you?

Playing big games is a matter of practice. We associate discomfort with fear. You can be standing in the discomfort of the unknown, and yet not be scared. And this takes practice.

I know of several people who would love to play big games, but are simply terrified to do so. The comfort of inertia makes it further difficult for them. The key is not to try and make it large, or much bigger. The key is to draw a line of a length that is slightly bigger than the one drawn earlier, and that’s when you are playing a big game, bigger than the one played earlier by you.

And as you start to practice this regularly, the emotion of fear will change to that of wonder (aha, let me explore this unknown territory..) and that of excitement!

You are what you have practiced till today. You are becoming what you are practicing now. Each one of us faces breakdowns regularly, and when a breakdown happens, according to my coach Bob Dunham, “you do not rise to the occasion – you sink to the level of your practice.”

I have begun writing a book, which is totally out of my comfort zone. However, I have taken on a practice to write a few lines every day, and I can see this is making a huge difference in the way I am now approaching my book. This project does not seem as daunting as it did earlier.

And yet, I am drawing a bigger line right now! Are you?

Sameer Dua, Founder Director, Institute for Generative Leadership, India

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“I am really upset. I was not invited to the informal meeting of all managers earlier in the morning today”, said the Manager of an IT consulting company to her colleagues. She spent the entire day being upset guessing the probable reason for her not being invited.

As human beings, we seek problems. We choose a problem and then spend time understanding or solving that problem. If you randomly look around in your world, you will notice people, all of whom are dealing with some or the other problem.

So, the big question you want to ask yourself is – what problem do I want to expend my energies on? That you will spend time on some or the problem is for certain, why not then choose a problem worthy of the bigness in you?

In one of my now rare Mumbai local train journeys, I came across Prof. Sandeep Desai. He was ‘begging’ for money to set up schools for the underprivileged. He had built 4 schools already and was in the process of building the 5th one. To me, it seemed like he gave up a thriving academic career and chose a new problem to deal with.During my recent visit to the US for my Coach Training program, I was in a discussion with Julio Olalla, the founder of Newfield Network and a pioneer of the coaching profession and transformational learning field of Ontology. He very humbly mentioned that the Ontological work that he and his team have done with government agencies in Columbia have helped bring peace in that country!

Some people choose their maids / drivers / not being invited to meetings and events as their problems; while others like Prof. Sandeep Desai and Julio Olalla make the country’s and world’s problems their own personal problem.

So, the question is “What is your problem?” And while you are answering this question, bear in mind people who fight tigers don’t get bothered by mosquitoes.

Sameer Dua, Founder Director, Institute for Generative Leadership, India

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There are only a very few people when you interact with, you feel gems flowing out of their mouths instead of words. This was one such interaction with Yogesh, the Head of HR of a large IT organization; an accomplished man who was modest and full of gratitude for life, yet had an air of subtle arrogance. An arrogance that comes with certainty.

What you are about to read is seemingly basic stuff, however, if you get to the depth of it, you will see how profound each of these points casually stated are:
1. Yogesh is taking off with his family on a drive from Pune to Leh, Ladakh (what???). It is a 6 day drive one way. The family intends to spend 6 days at Ladakh and then take another 6 days for their return journey. A friend asked him how he intends to spend the 6 days at Ladakh. His reply was, “I don’t know actually – we’re more excited about the journey and haven’t thought of what we will do there yet”. While Ladakh remains an exotic destination, for Yogesh, this trip is not about just the destination. It is as much, if not more, about the journey. He made me question myself, if I am enjoying my journey now or am I too focused on the destination?
2. Yogesh, unlike many parents who are senior executives in Corporate India, makes a great parent. He is excited about this holiday. And another reason for his excitement is his two children who are travelling with him. Spending quality time in the car with them; having that bonding opportunity; sharing life experiences; and, jointly learning life lessons with the family is what he is looking forward to.

He stated “Sameer, in a lot of my road trips, I see these young kids without shoes, in blazing sun wearing torn clothes that seem like uniforms and going to school. What I also see them wear is their smile and their excitement for life. I want my children to see that and learn from that”. He added, “While it is important to have gratitude – you cannot be at the effect of the luxuries of life. Happiness is irrespective of these and you can find happiness in the smallest of things in life. I want my kids to learn this by seeing it themselves, and not by me telling them this in the comfort of my house.”

You can see that here is a parent who has his basics in place. I can only imagine his kids talking to their friends 5-10 years later about this road trip they took as a family. To me this is the making of some quality world citizens of the future.

3. Yogesh writes poetry and has recently introduced a mobile application for Apple and Android. My colleague and I know of him as a busy man involved with various different things. My colleague was amazed to see the mobile app on poetry written by him and asked him with deep curiosity, “Yogesh, where do you get the time for writing poetry?’ Yogesh in his characteristic style responded calmly “I have a lot of time – It is not about the time. It is about the intention.” A lot of us know this already. However, when said so simply, it has an altogether different effect. Indeed, we have the time. The question is, ‘Do we have the intent?’

4. Yogesh has booked a 500 cc Royal Enfield Classic motorcycle. As someone who has owned an Enfield and has a passion for riding, I know what this means. I have no doubt that Yogesh could own a Harley Davidson if he wanted to. However, it is about a dream that he saw when he was a middle class college student who at best could afford a 100 cc Hero Honda. He claimed not to have big dreams, but clearly was someone who was fulfilling each dream that he saw.

I can go on and on about the discussions that we had; about the good social work his organization is engaged in and the lives they are impacting. One gets into a business meeting hoping to be successful and leave the meeting with business in hand. In this meeting, I did not care for the business. I was happier simply listening to this humble man speak and collect the gems that were dripping in the form of words.

Here was a man who was multifaceted – a top corporate executive; a traveller; a biker; a poet; a keen parent and above all an interested and caring human being. (I have intentionally used ‘interested’ instead of ‘interesting’. Many people want to be interesting – here was a person who was more interested in others, and that is what made him exceptionally interesting.)

Sameer Dua, Founder Director, Institute for Generative Leadership, India

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